There’s a War On Christmas!
It’s always in the news
But I survey our world
And I’m a bit confused . . .
At Walmart in early October
Back-to-School shelves are pushed aside
One measly aisle for Halloween
Yet Christmas lights storewide . . .
Return in early November
To a Garden Center rife with trees
Poinsettias three-for-ten dollars
“Holy-day deals” on TV’s . . .
If there’s a War On Christmas
(And it sure does make the news)
Then how are we so inundated?
Christmas items suffuse . . .
The catalogues start mid-September
Reminding of gift obligations
The commercials commingle football
With warnings of missed new sensations . . .
Before one’s purchased a turkey
Those news blitzes begin
How to coordinate a shopping bonanza
For that big Black Friday win . . .
Still we hear there’s a War On Christmas
Relevant tidbits hit the 5 o’clock news . . .
And in this shopaholic world
I’d say such news is true!
Not little baby Jesus,
Nor his miraculous birth,
Not good will toward men,
Nor peace on earth, but
Shopping mall stampedes!
Forget the stuffing and SCRAM!
Amazon’s got Free Shipping!
Get a Mercedes! Buy gem-glam!
Nab that perfect gift,
Lest Christmas get short shrift . . .
So, if someone’s made War On Christmas
Don’t blame Muslims or Buddhists or Jews
Drowned in Christian revenues.